I see dead people
No, seriously. I do see dead people, as a matter of fact I see them quite frequently.
Probably the number one response I get when I tell people about my “other” job concerns death and injury. They say, in some form or another, that they could not deal with accidents or dead bodies. It would gross them out, freak them out, or cause some other negative reaction.
To be honest, it does actually bother me, but not until later. When I’m at the scene, I don’t allow myself to think of the deceased as a person. I just think of them as a “body” and that allows me to deal with the situation at hand quite nicely.
After all, unless you’re a porn star, chances are that you’re not admired just for your body.
Seriously, stop for a moment and think about a loved one. What’s the first thing that comes to mind?
It’s probably not your loved one just standing there or lying there; more than likely you recalled a favorite vacation. Or, you thought about one of their favorite sayings, their funny laugh, or a particularly funny moment you shared with them. That’s what makes us “people”, it’s not our physical flesh it’s our words and actions and mannerisms.
In church I’ve been taught that we are made up of 3 distinct components; we are a spirit, with a soul, that lives in a body.
Our spirit is our inner man that will live on throughout eternity, our soul gives us our worldly thoughts and emotions, and our body is the Ziploc bag that keeps everything from oozing out. Most Protestant religions teach that the body will die but our spirit and soul will live forever. If you’re not Protestant or of a religion that believes in a Heaven and a hell, the rest of this may be boring for you.
There’s been much debate about how we will look in Heaven (or hell). Will we look like we were when we were 11, the last time we saw a childhood friend alive? Or will we look like a Grandma since that’s how the grandkids remember us?
After viewing a lot of corpses, I think we will look like nothing and / or anything. I don’t think it really matters as what we look like isn’t really who we are. Our friends and family know us by our habits, voice, mannerisms, etc. They know us by WHO we are.
Think about how meaningful phone conversations are for keeping in touch. You can’t see the person on the other end but yet you feel like you’ve actually visited with the other person. You are essentially talking with the soul in the absence of the body.
Getting back to the subject, that’s how I deal with dead people. I don’t let myself think about who they were, what their hobbies were, how much they were loved, or whether or not they ate their peas with honey to keep them on their knife. By disassociating the person from the body, I’m able to deal with it like it’s just an inanimate object. After all, that’s what it is once the person inside is gone.
Later, when I read in the paper or see on the news about that person, that’s when it hits. As anecdotes and stories are told by loved ones, I’m able to picture that life in the body I saw and that’s when it becomes depressing.
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on October 22nd, 2007 at 11:01 am
I am one of the people who thinks I couldn’t handle the sight. It’s hard for me to look at people in their caskets during a funeral. I do understand what you’re saying though. I think disassociating yourself is the only way one may be able to handle it. I also understand why it hits you when you read about them later. That would be tough. I’m curious to know how you get those images out of your head….or do you? A friend just buried her 7yo son, who accidentally hung himself. She found him and I cannot imagine having that image stuck in my head for the rest of my life. I wonder how you get over things like that….
on October 22nd, 2007 at 2:17 pm
Some of the images I never get out of my head and the rest I forget about until something reminds me of them.
I even stopped talking about some of them with my wife as just the verbal account upset her a lot.
That’s why cops often only talk to other cops. You hate to put something like that on someone else, but a fellow officer has seen their share already.
As to the 7 year son…..that’s a whole different level. There are no tricks, tips, or ways to handle the death of children. It flat out rips your heart out and there’s nothing you can do about.