The Surfin’ Dad

No, seriously. I do see dead people, as a matter of fact I see them quite frequently.

Probably the number one response I get when I tell people about my “other” job concerns death and injury. They say, in some form or another, that they could not deal with accidents or dead bodies. It would gross them out, freak them out, or cause some other negative reaction.

To be honest, it does actually bother me, but not until later. When I’m at the scene, I don’t allow myself to think of the deceased as a person. I just think of them as a “body” and that allows me to deal with the situation at hand quite nicely.

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There are some absolutely surefire ways to get a traffic citation from me. In fact, most of the offenses listed will net you more than one citation depending on the circumstance and your attitude.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I primarily cite people to correct behavior. Some behaviors are more serious and either affect, or have the potential to affect, more people or at a greater scale.

A lot of people don’t know this, but law enforcement officers (at least in my state) have the ability to arrest someone for any traffic offense. Obviously we don’t arrest for every traffic offense, but in general we arrest for criminal infractions or if there are extenuating circumstances.

At the risk of hijacking my own thread, let me first list the offenses that will most assuredly result in your arrest:

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Everyone that knows me is aware that I love two things in particular: good deals and good deeds. Rarely do the two meet, but when they do I love to get the message out.

Having a will in place is a good idea, regardless of your financial status, number of dependents, or any other oft quoted factors. It’s a good idea because it insures that you and your family, not the state or an impartial court, decide the disposition of your assets and treasures. Most people work hard for their “things” and if for no other reason it’s worthwhile to make sure you have your say.

First responders (police, paramedics, fire) in particular should make sure they have a current will in place as statistically they face some of the higher odds of dying unexpectedly. However, between their inherent bravado and tight budgets it’s often overlooked. Thanks for the generosity of a non-profit fondation, at least one of those obstacles have been removed.

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As promised, here (in my opinion) are the best tips to help you avoid getting a ticket. Again, I can only vouch for the “good” cops as I’m not able to think like a “bad” cop. Additionally, cops are human and sometimes you’re subject to harsher treatment because of a prior call, problems at home, menstrual cycle, etc.

I’m not going to get into the whole “Don’t speed and you won’t get a ticket” discussion as it is too much of a “duh!” thought process. Let’s just assumed that you did something and you’ve already been pulled over.

I also need to establish the caveat that sometimes the officer has zero discretion. If we’re out there at the direction of our supervisor due to resident complaints or accidents, we’ve probably been told that it’s “zero tolerance.” That essentially means everybody gets a ticket “period” or you face the wrath of your supervisor.

Here, as a police officer, are my tips on how to greatly improve your odds on not getting cited:

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